OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just came back from a lecture called "Re-imagining the Scarlet Letter" given by Deborah Noyes, the author of "Angel and Aposte", which is the imagined story of Pearl from Hawthorne's timeless classic, The Scarlet Letter.

Anyways...so I was sitting there completly smitten!!! I felt like she was a true kindred spirit. She was echoing my sentiments in a way that almost made me cry.
Like she talked about how she was drawn to the Scarlet Letter since she was in High School, how she came back to it later as a college student and there was just something about it she could not let go. She mentioned that she was so intrigued by Pearl's charcter, because she could find parallels between her own character and that of Pearl, as well as give life to a character Hawthorne didn't give enough voice to.

She said that she kept seeing visions of a little girl in a red dress, with an impish face, singing aloud, and sort of just not letting her go. It was a sign for Deborah to start writing, as a way to validate the appearance of that image in her head. Deborah mentioned how she would relate more to characters in books than even in real life, and I could SO attest to that! I was sitting there thinking "OMG so here is ONE person speaking in front of a crowd thing sthat I have felt and thought no one would ever understand or relate to" And yet, the other listened to her, nodded, smiled. I wonder what they were thinking. Did they dismiss everything she said about imagining "real" characters as real people and seeing visions of characters? Or did they look upon her in utter awe? Were they really fascinated about her almost mystic language and countenance and the experiences she related as a writer and as a person?
Would what she said hold the same meaning to the other people in the room as it did for me? Unless there were other people like me in the room, I reckon it wouldn't have the same meaning.
If one person, such as Deboarah Noyes, could hold the attention and interest of a crowd because she seemed so different, so like me, then I wonder if there would be others who'd be interested in what I might have to say. I don't come across many people here who think the way I do, see the way I do. Its almost like I live in my own world most of the time...like I am two people: one who can mingle with others as if I am like one of them, and yet there is this other part of me that feels so alone because I don't find people here to really open up to. So I was thinking...maybe, just maybe, if I became as famous as Deborah, would the crowd of people think I am interesting and worth listeing to? Maybe if I became someone like Deborah, I might be able to find people in the crowd the same way as Deborah had me in her crowd.

She mentioned how she was fascinated by the Gothic writing, like the Brontes (*grins*). And she talked about how she felt she had to give a voice to women from the past.

And Deb also talked about how she liked Children's Fiction-something so very close to my own heart. She talked about how Children's fiction influenced her own work as a writer of adult fiction. And I was there thinking "She has the best of what I want to do: Chidlren's fiction and Classic English literature"

At the end of the lecture, I had some time to talk to her. I was so excited I could barely make sense of what I said ...because I talked to fast! I talked about how I loved the Brontes and Children's Fiction, how I can relate to characters as much or more than real people, and also how I feel like I see visions of characters. She listened and smiled and there was such warmth and sympathy in it...that I truly felt that I was talking to someone who really understands what I say, who knows how much characters mean to me. Who can escape to alternate worlds, away from the world of the mundane, real life. Who can dream endless dreams and savor them all and live in the richness of the imagination.


She asked me "are you a writer?" and that got me thinking..She must have noticed something enough ask that question....
Maybe I should write..
and if I do, maybe sooner than I think....