And if I can gain the public ear at all, I would rather whisper a few wholesome truths therein than much soft nonsense.
~ Preface to the second edition of The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Brontë
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Are people ultimately seflish? Is every thing done for pleasure (even when in pain)? Is nothing ever unconditional?
" even a “good” deed can be done for the sake of being “good,” ". -This is exactly what I mean. If we do something because it is "good", we feel good within ourselves. Is this feeling not selfish? Perhaps we do this good deed because we really just want to experience that feel-good moment.
"When we do things we don’t want; when we compromise, because someone else needs us – isn't that unselfish? Or are you saying that we do it because we don't want to lose that person, and thus, it's ultimately selfish?" -We could do it because we fear losing the person. Or we could do it because it just "feels good" to give something up for ourselves and help someone else. The former situation is motivated by fear but the latter is motivated by the need to "feel good" within ourselves. As in my argument above, isn't the need to "feel good" selfish? Or perhaps selfish acts are divided into "selfishly good" and "selfishly bad" categories. But how can selfish every be good? Purely interms of grammer?
"Still, I believe that treating ourselves kindly and lovingly is the best way to nurture the world, and that this type of “selfishness” is good, particularly for women who are often told to put their own needs last. :)" -I agree that self-care is important in order to foster a healthier, happier attitude. But because the purpose is to feel good within ourselves so that we can be productive and do good to others and the world as a result this self-care, then perhaps this is not selfish, since it is for the benefit of the greater good.
"How much self-sacrifice is too much? Is too much selflessness harmful? Where do we find the balance between our self and the other?" -I think self sacrifice becomes too much when independence of either party is at a risk. A degree of independence is necessary for surival. For example, if one person is a relationship is too servile and the other is manipulative, what happens if one of them leaves or dies? Also, it is important to ask how such an act of self-sacrifice serves towards the greater good.
1 comment:
" even a “good” deed can be done for the sake of being “good,” ".
-This is exactly what I mean. If we do something because it is "good", we feel good within ourselves. Is this feeling not selfish? Perhaps we do this good deed because we really just want to experience that feel-good moment.
"When we do things we don’t want; when we compromise, because someone else needs us – isn't that unselfish? Or are you saying that we do it because we don't want to lose that person, and thus, it's ultimately selfish?"
-We could do it because we fear losing the person. Or we could do it because it just "feels good" to give something up for ourselves and help someone else. The former situation is motivated by fear but the latter is motivated by the need to "feel good" within ourselves. As in my argument above, isn't the need to "feel good" selfish? Or perhaps selfish acts are divided into "selfishly good" and "selfishly bad" categories. But how can selfish every be good? Purely interms of grammer?
"Still, I believe that treating ourselves kindly and lovingly is the best way to nurture the world, and that this type of “selfishness” is good, particularly for women who are often told to put their own needs last. :)"
-I agree that self-care is important in order to foster a healthier, happier attitude. But because the purpose is to feel good within ourselves so that we can be productive and do good to others and the world as a result this self-care, then perhaps this is not selfish, since it is for the benefit of the greater good.
"How much self-sacrifice is too much? Is too much selflessness harmful? Where do we find the balance between our self and the other?"
-I think self sacrifice becomes too much when independence of either party is at a risk. A degree of independence is necessary for surival. For example, if one person is a relationship is too servile and the other is manipulative, what happens if one of them leaves or dies?
Also, it is important to ask how such an act of self-sacrifice serves towards the greater good.
my 2 cents :)
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