I bought a small notebook with ruled pages a few days ago. I chose a smaller size because I found bigger notebooks intimidating and I thought a smaller book meant there'd be fewer pages and that would force me to write my burning thoughts out.

However, it doesn't seem to be working.

I found what I feel more comfortable with is a notebook with no ruled pages. A notebook with blank sheets where I can write in whatever size I want, form my lines any way I please, and doodle at the same time too.

I understand now that books with ruled pages are too confining for me. The sight of the ruled lines on the page turns me off. I don't know if my unwillingness to face these ruled lines is a weakness I must overcome...or if I'd be better off taking a "different path" and chossing notebooks with blank pages hereafter. It doesn't necessarily mean that everytime I come across a blank page that a new idea pops up into my head and I can write, but rather that a blank page offers me freedom. More freedom than that found in a sheet with caged lines.

I find it intolerable to be in spots where I am restricted mentally and emotionally. Perhaps I've become too sensitive to such places. The worst part is when one finds that the imprisonment stems from within. Nevertheless, I could do with fewer ruled notebooks for now..