grrr...I *hate* it when my mother talks about how I should get married soon!!! Like huh??? HOW??? It is not as if she has anyone particular in mind for me *rolls eyes*
That's also the reason she is not supportive of my studing English instead of going to medical school like I had originally planned. She thinks Med School would have given me better prospects for a husband. OMG for her, my only reason for being alive is to be married!!
Me: What do you mean? Why do you think I can't get married if I became an English major?
Mom: How long are you going to study for?
Me: I want to study for as long as I want. Why should you devalue education?
Mom: Then when can you get married?
Me: WHAT? Why should my continuing to study interfere with getting married?
Mom: Who would marry you if your plans were uncertain? You'd be too old if you wait longer and you'd become ugly.
Me: Huh? What guarantee is there that I am going to marry at a certain time? Who knows when the right guy will come?
Mom: What do you have? Are you beautiful? Are you rich? What man would want you?
Me: I would want someone who takes me for myself alone
Mom: YOu will NEVER find any man like that. Your mother is telling you that. Mark my words
Me: You don't have to find someone for me. I will find one who suits me.
Mom: Well anyone you choose will be disaster. Those kinds of marriages do not work. You will bring shame on us.
Me: huh??? I have done nothing. I don't even have anyone in mind. What do you want me to do?
Mom: Think about what you have done for your parents. Look at how you have ruined yourself.
Me: You call changing my major into English ruining myself? My teachers like me. School supports me.
Mom: To hell with them. They don't know you as well as I do. You don't know yourself as well as your parents know you. How can you NOT listen to us?
Me: I am over 21 years old. You still think I am a child?
Mom: Do you think your father and I are going to keep living forever? Its your duty to finish your business in time.
Me: By business you mean marriage, that is all.
Mom: Look at all those girls we know who are your age. Most are married or in Grad school or Med school. Some even have kids. You have seen what happens if girls get too old. No one will want them.
Me: Mom, you are talking about what happend to women in our society a generation or two ago. This is not the case now, especially for those of us in the US.
Mom: You argue too much. You only have a big mouth. But mark my words. Your plans will not work. You will not succeed.
Me: If I was married, nothing else will matter right? I could study what the hell I want and you wouldn't even care.
Mom: You don't know what a girl is supposed to do.
and we go on and on!!
ARGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2 comments:
hehe..oh yes! I'd love for a happy ending too! sigh...whenever that is...
Yes, you are so right! Its because as thinking individuals, we grow: physcially, personally and professionally. When the people we live with don't see it and still think you are the same person always, that's when problems arise. If both people grow at the same rate or at least acknowlege and accept changes in each other, this would be much more tolerable and would lead to lesser arguments.
Yes...its a pity that Moms think they know us best. It is SO not true always. They might know us best when we are like 2 years old but not necesarrily when we are 21. Jeez!
In my case though, there's a huge cultural barrier. My mother is very rooted to her cultural (and religious) beliefs whereas I am not really like that. I've also been brought up mostly abroad since I was really young whereas my mother didn't leave her country till she was almost 30. So there's this tension in her about wanting me to be a traditional girl and comparing that to who I am now (or who she thinks I am). Why! She doesn't even know of the Bronte's existance (or how much I adore them )
exactly! The question you pose is so hard to answer...especially when you are not sure of how much of yourself you want to give in.
Like in my case, what would make my mother happy is if I told her I was going to go to med school...she just won't accept anything else. Obviously this is too hard a task for me to do right now. Sure enough, this (doing English) is indeed a new path (a new dream), one my mother does not understand. She thinks it is against my nature to even do it. Now what can one say to that? I dont' think she has any idea how "artsy" I am.
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