you know how sometimes you worry about who are and what you are if you are not working. If I am not teaching or writing or drawing, what would I do? Who would I be? Would I even like to do anything else?

I was talking to a good friend today and she brought up this fact. She said "You and I have a good friendship because we don't see each other 24/7. We have intellectual conversations and we see the world a certain way but we won't be able to endure each other for more than an hour a day". This was like some kind of blow on the head...and morever,it seemed true for the most part. The friendship I have with this friend is based on conversations we have, not on anything active like sports or recreational activities. It is true that we both need our own spaces: we both have different work to do, and yet, she can talk about her work and I can understand what she means. Some of it, if not all of it. Now if she was doing the same work like me, then we'd have even more to talk with. If only she was as much into Victorian Literature as I am, I'd have more to talk with her. But my question then is, is talking enough? Would I be satisfied in just talking? Would I not want to do anything else? If I don't feel like talking, I'd rather be alone writing or doing something creative. But then, this requires mental exertion on my part. Even if I was dancing I'd find something to keep my mind engaged. In other words, I'd find something frustrating. I might hate myself for how I can't dance or I might get annoyed with the petty behavior of people. Even when I do certain sports, I will admit it's hard for me to enjoy them too much because there is the pressure in having to do well and win the game. So if sports is out of the picture and if I don't want to be engaged in intellectual study all the time, I wonder what else I'd want to do. My friend says that I won't be alive if I don't venture and as much as I agree with her, I'll say that the roads can be rough and some destinations are not worth entering. Why should one want to do sports if they feel nothing for it? Why should one cook if they have no appetite to eat? Why should one go and socialize if they care nothing about who they talk to and what they say and do each other?

So my biggest question after all this rambling is this:
What makes us alive?