OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!
I found out today that my library has a copy of one of the Brontes' juvenilia!! One of those tiny books with miniscule print!!!! I was so excited I think I almost died!!! I simply can't wait to go and see it!!

In other news, my Bronte class just started! I try not to care about what other students think of me when I talk with enthusiasm...this is one subject I love so much and I should feel free to talk in class if I choose instead of having to worry about what others( who don't speak up in class) think of me. Of course there have been classes where I have rarely spoken up..so I do know how it feels to have nothing to say and in that way I can sympathize with some of the those very girls who don't speak up. The thing is I probably know more about the Brontes' lives than just their works so it is hard to not tie both of these things. Like today we looked at Charlotte's very first writing where she mentions Anne's love for the sea. I thought this foretold Anne's fascination for the sea (esp. the poem "Lines composed on the woods on a windy day") and her wish to die by the sea coast.

I am so looking forward to how this class goes. I do hope this will strengthen my resolve to go deeper into Bronte studies, instead of taking me further away from it.
I also think I am the only one in class who has not only read all their books, but who has also read their poems and a few biographies written on them. There is some comfort in doing this in secret because you don't have to care about what others think since you know that they don't know how much this means to you. But it is entirely a different matter when other disinterested people, some of whom are only taking the class because it either fulfills a requirement or they couldn't find anything better to take, notice the excitment in your voice when you talk. Yes, in some ways, I feel like I should hide my passion for the Brontes. Some how I see that a lot of people I meet have no passion for anything. By that I mean that even if they did like something so much, they either hide it really well and pretend it does not exist, or suppress and think of something else. Even here, where I would think students would be more passionate about their studies, I feel that many scoff at others who seem more passionate than themselves. I have talked to some people who've told me that they found nothing that they really love and actually despise other people for having found what they love. It is always a constant battle: I do want to tell the world how much I love Bronte and yet I feel like I have to keep some of the enthusiasm for myself instead of releasing all of it. It is like water boiling in a saucepan..exept there is a cover over it.

And finally, Frankengirl, I managed to read the article you mentioned: Caroline Knapp's "The Merry Recluse". It was a nice read :) If anyone else is interested, the article can be found here.

I do wonder though that though she claims that she has many caring friends, she still calls herself a "recluse". That would mean that she is probably not that much of a loner, or that she is probably not that close to her friends. If one were to have a deeper friendship, they'd be prone to do things together with the other person. Knapp says she spends most of her time alone and likes doing so.
Knapp mentions the need for a careful balance in which to not let solitude rule so as to be isolated from the rest of the world. I do think that this balance is very hard to find. She says, "Solitude is often most comforting, most sustaining, when it's enjoyed in relation to other humans". When Knapp says "fail to strike the right balance and life gets a little surreal", I wonder if her act of her writing this piece presumably in solitude is not very different from the act of dreaming about TV characters. Are they both surreal acts? If the act of writing is an art and art requires concentration and hard work, would she not have felt at times that "minor occassoins that others find perfectly ordinary start to feel bizarre and unfathomable" even for herself?

As much as she claims to be a "merry recluse", the questions she raises show that she might not be as merry as she says she is. She says she is not always able to "bask" in solitude.

I guess the answer is the same always: that one just has to find the "right" balance. Somehow this task is elusive and often more burdensome than choosing the either of the the extremes.